maximum-marrs:

chaotic-carnifex:

theactualcluegirl:

taraljc:

jackironsides:

hellenhighwater:

butterynutjob:

melodramaticsoprano:

slytherpuff666:

illegitimate-businessman:

melodramaticsoprano:

So I got called into jury duty…

And I was put in the seat instantly, of course. I said, “your honor, I can’t be a juror on a two week trial, I have opera rehearsal.” And she said, “opera huh, well, sing something for us.”

And I did. In a federal court of law, in front of the judge, 75 jurors, the lawyers and the fucking DEFENDANT, I sang o mio babbino caro.

And the judge excused me.

@districtswiftie13

YO I DIDNT EMBARRASS MYSELF IN FEDERAL COURT SO YALL CAN DOUBT ME.

I know a lot of opera singers, and singing a full-on aria in a court room with only a hint of provocation is EXACTLY what they would do.

I know a lot of judges, and demanding an impromptu opera solo on a whim is also something they would do.

(And also one of the main reasons you can be excused from jury duty is economic hardship–basically, it would cause you unreasonable financial damage. If you’re a professional singer, a two week gap in your rehearsal schedule could do that for sure.)

As a muso, I absolutely believe this. I’ve got my accordion out of my carry-on and played a tune when airport security couldn’t recognise its weird mass of levers. Singers and musicians are just Like That.

Accurate.

My friend got stopped at the Canadian border coming back into the US. Border patrol took one look at his tattoed, ear-gagued, mutton chop wearing, hipster self, and said “I don’t believe you’re an opera singer. Sing something for me.”

His wife immediately put down her knitting and plugged her ears, because Matt’s a contrabasso, and he does NOT sing quietly.

Every other booth along the border stop had a head poking out of it within twenty seconds. And they let them pass without further contest.

The unwillingness of some people to believe that literally anything remotely interesting happens in other people’s lives is truly astounding.

Can we all please just take a moment to appreciate that OP’s url is literally @melodramaticsoprano and yet she still was doubted?  

redbuddi:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

ghostlybluemuffins:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

disney when they spend exactly $2 promoting their new movie and release it during a busy weekend and then it flops

ALT

@artist-heart83 There is actually a reason for this. A very disgusting and greedy capitalist reason but a reason nonetheless.

Basically, they are banking on it not doing well in theaters, but doing well on streaming services in October, over three months after the release date.

Most of the writers/actors/workers/etc paycheck depends on how well they do in theaters and the three months after the release.

Since it’ll fall in theaters and won’t pick up in streaming until after everyone has gotten (the majority of) their paycheck, they won’t have to pay their workers as much as their work is worth.

cool cool cool im making a molotov cocktail

this is pretty similar to the “fuck you it’s january” thing. january is generally a bad month for movies due to it being right after the holidays, so ppl have less money to spend on things like going to theaters. So if a studio has an upcoming film that they do NOT believe in, they usually drop it in january, tho nowadays they can also bank on it underperforming for reasons like the above.

Reminder

thejewitches:

The Days of Awe, also known as the High Holidays are quickly approaching.

This means be aware & don’t schedule important events, tests, meetings, etc, when your Jewish community members cannot be in attendance in order to observe them.

Rosh Hashanah

Begins sunset of Friday, September 15, 2023

Ends nightfall of Sunday, September 17, 2023

Yom Kippur

Begins sunset of Sunday, September 24, 2023

Ends nightfall of Monday, September 25, 2023

For most Christians in the US, most of your holidays are bank holidays & you get paid double to work, if you so choose. Our High Holy Days forbid work for us. 

Don’t force your Jewish colleagues, friends, family, and community members to have to lose out because you have the privilege not to.

cascadiarch:

oneheadtoanother:

Love the use of ‘the,’ here.

ohheyitsjustaj:

Take a fruit and pass it on

🍎

🍓

🍊

🍌

🥭

🍇

🍑

🍒

🥝

🍉

🍐

🍋

crabussy:

crabussy:

roach-works:

shiobookmark:

roach-works:

meanderingorange:

gallusrostromegalus:

katy-l-wood:

A BEAR ATE MY BEST HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER.

Rude.

Someone tell that bear he’s not supposed to eat that with the skin on.

I live in South Africa. And if you live in South Africa and you have any contact with people from the US or Canada you might have run into a question about wildlife like lions and elephants roaming our streets. Most South Africans get pretty offended by questions like this. We are a civilized country, our large and dangerous wildlife gets contained in properly fenced parks. 

I use to get offended by this until I visited a few places in Canada and realized that the reason why you ask is that some of your large and dangerous wildlife does simply roam the countryside and sometimes make excursions into town.

This honestly blew my mind. What do you mean, you have bears just walking around? What the hell? 

north americans don’t all encounter deadly megafauna on our porches and front lawns but it happens often enough that we all think this is a reasonable amount of gigantic animal to happen to your house. so when we think of africa we kinda imagine it like this:

like. if we had elephants here. this is what we would be putting up with on the regular. what do you mean you guys are more sensible than us.

TELL ME AGAIN HOW AUSTRALIA IS THE DEATH COUNTRY
We have two spiders and (apparently) 12 snakes but we don’t have lions, bears, wildcats, AND crocodiles.
We sometimes have crocodiles and large boas in certain areas. We don’t have to worry about a bear attacking our halloween decor. Or moose deciding to joust on the front lawn.

Maybe similar to Africa, America’s fear of Australia is because you all assume our wildlife is exactly as huge and space-invadey.

oh yeah i forgot about the gators

hi new zealander here. you guys are fucking insane

three spiders and a bunch of sea animals. these are the ONLY dangerous animals in the entire country. when a sea lion makes its way into the suburbs it hits national headlines. the USA makes me shiver and quake in my gumboots

velvetys:

I hate loud ass cars like control that beast

memeuplift: